Committed Passion Read online

  I looked at Leah’s slender hand and linked my fingers between hers. “Honestly, it should probably mean more to me than it does. The others knew him back then, but I barely remember him. So I can’t really connect to some old guy I just met, you know?”

  She nodded.

  “I mean, I’m sorry he’s suffering and I hope, for his sake, that he passes on soon. But I’m having trouble feeling anything other than pity for him. He doesn’t seem like my dad.”

  “I get that.” Leah paused as if she were going to add something, then changed the subject. “It had to be a big surprise to learn your older brother’s getting married.”

  “Yeah, that came out of nowhere,” Micah chimed in from the driver’s seat. “Jonah hasn’t done an impetuous thing his entire life. Now he’s marrying some stripper. Who’d’ve thunk.”

  Gina smacked his arm. “She’s more than just ‘some stripper.’ Don’t be mean.”

  Leah supported Gina. “We’ve chatted a little online. She seems nice.”

  “A new wife and a kid both,” I added. “But I’m sure Jonah thought it through. Like Micah said, he doesn’t do anything on a whim.”

  I touched the little bulge in my jacket pocket and wondered if I was proposing on a whim. I knew I wanted to marry Leah. That wasn’t even a question. But was this the right time to formally ask? Was I being hopelessly romantic, or, like Leah’s dad had suggested, foolishly impetuous?

  *

  Micah

  I annoyed the hell out of Gina by coming home late the morning we left for Kentucky. To tell the truth, the gift I’d gone after didn’t take all that long to get. I’d spent time just shooting the shit with some guys before deciding it was way too late to go to Gina’s. But, hey, at least I texted her.

  Sometimes I baited my girl on purpose because she was so much fun to tease, but other times I pissed her off purely by accident. Dating instead of just bedding a woman was a big adjustment for me. There were expectations about checking in and showing up on time I was still getting used to.

  Though I could no longer make spur-of-the-moment decisions without considering another person, I really was glad to have Gina in my life, happy to be with someone who actually cared whether I came or went. Most nights I was content to be in her bed rather than alone—or with some random girl from the bar. But planning around somebody else’s needs and desires did take some adjustment. I hoped she wouldn’t give me the boot before I finished figuring it out.

  The drive down from Chicago went fast on clear highways with all that winter snow melted away. Even with restroom breaks—the women sure needed a lot of them—we got to Kentucky in record time. I pulled up in front of Jonah’s new house in an older Lexington suburb, a family home complete with a tire swing in the front yard and spring flowers blooming all over. Never thought my brother would leave Sawville, his weed business, and his bachelor ways behind. It seemed he’d completely reinvented himself. I was intrigued to meet the man Jonah had transformed into and the woman who’d helped that happen.

  We piled out of the car, four people who’d spent way too many hours together in a very small space, and stretched our legs. As we walked toward the front porch, J.D. described the yard and house for Leah.

  The door opened and a slender, long-legged woman in a tank top and jeans stepped out. “Hi! You’re early. Jonah isn’t here yet. Welcome. Come on in.”

  Her words ran together as her gaze darted around to each of us. Nervous. But Rianna’s smile was genuine and welcoming, and the little kid who peeked around her legs was bright-eyed with curiosity.

  My soon-to-be nephew clutched a dinosaur in one hand. The T-Rex from the plastic figures I’d hidden in the closet of our old house as if they were a stack of dirty magazines. Except I wouldn’t have had to hide skin mags from my brothers, but the plastic dinos I couldn’t quite let go of had been an embarrassment.

  I greeted Rianna with a hello and a smile, then squatted to face her son. “Hey there, Travis. I’m your Uncle Micah. What you got there?”

  “T-Rex.” He lunged the dinosaur toward me with a growl.

  “Very cool. Did he eat up the rest of the dinosaurs?”

  Travis grinned and bobbed his head up and down. He emerged from behind his mother and reached for my hand. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

  I winked at Gina, who smiled at me, as I let the boy drag me past his mom and into the house.

  While the others carried in luggage and were shown to the bedrooms, I joined Travis on the living room carpet, where my old herd of dinosaurs lay slaughtered by T-Rex. I’ll admit I felt a lump in my throat at Travis’s joy in those cheap plastic toys. I was happy to see the dinos back in play with a new little kid who appreciated them.

  I joined in the boy’s imaginative game where raptors ran a helicopter service, carrying other dinosaurs to the hospital. A Lego building and people played that part, and soon I was paging a doctor to the emergency room. A few minutes and a couple of surgeries later, Gina joined us on the floor to sit cross-legged beside me.

  Travis gave her the stink eye, maybe afraid she was there to ruin our fun. But Gina jumped right in, taking up a Lego person and acting the part of a nurse. She adopted a funny voice that made Travis giggle, and he relented and accepted her into our club.

  I watched my cute girlfriend, the prettiest of all the very pretty women in the room with her snapping brown eyes and wavy dark hair, and suddenly saw our future almost like a vision. We would play with our children like this someday. They’d never be ignored or forgotten or treated like shit. They’d be the happiest fucking children on the planet with parents like us.

  I wanted to lean in and kiss Gina right then, but the rest of the adults had joined us in the room, so a PDA seemed inappropriate. Instead, I strutted my Lego doctor up to her nurse and growled seductively that we could meet in the conference room later “to discuss the patient.”

  She smiled and answered in an airy voice, “Absolutely, Dr. Player. I’d be happy to.”

  *

  Jonah

  By the time I’d finished dealing with a shipping issue at the distillery, I was running late and the tone of Rianna’s texts was increasingly tense.

  The first one stated cryptically: Need talk before family arrives. Important.

  I’d been in the midst of a phone conference and couldn’t respond before several more messages came in.

  They got here early. Come soon please.

  Where are you? Call!

  As I drove home, I phoned in. “Hi, sweetheart. Sorry I’m late. I was in a meeting and couldn’t break free.”

  “That’s okay. I just… Everyone’s here and it’s kinda overwhelming.” She spoke rushed and quiet. I heard voices laughing and talking in the background.

  “I’m sorry. I know you’ve been nervous about meeting them.”

  Rianna remained silent a moment. “Your family’s not the problem. Something happened. I can’t talk about it over the phone. I need to see you.”

  Adrenaline shot through me, waking me up like a slap to the face. The mild anticipation I’d felt about seeing my brothers and the bigger anticipation of the coming wedding day both evaporated. An anvil lodged in the pit of my stomach.

  “What’s wrong? Is it my dad?”

  “No. He’s fine. It’s something else. I can’t tell you like this. I need to see you.”

  Jesus, it sounded like she was about to cry. Was she having second thoughts about the wedding? Rianna was quite a bit younger than me. Maybe she’d begun to realize she had options she’d like to explore before settling down. But we’d been so happy. How could it all go to hell so fast?

  Take a breath. I knew better. Whatever this was about, it wasn’t our relationship. Rianna and I loved each other. That much I was confident about. I followed my own advice, inhaled, and calmed my racing heart.

  “Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Anything you need me to pick up on the way?”

  “No. Just get here, okay?”

  I dro
ve fast enough to get a big speeding ticket but luckily didn’t get pulled over. On our quiet street, I passed Micah’s massive old Buick parked in front of the house and turned into my driveway. I hurried into the house where the scent of those apple pie candles Rianna liked scented the air and the happy murmur of voices made the place feel like home. But the homey feeling was spoiled by the urgency in Rianna’s voice on the phone. What the hell had happened?

  “There he is. The man himself,” Micah drawled from where he sat, sprawled on the carpet, his back against the sofa. “Tell the ladies about the time you busted that Carpenter kid in the nose.”

  “No.” I was too worried to be very wordy as I greeted everyone and hugged both Leah and Gina. I looked over their shoulders, meeting Rianna’s eyes and trying to read a message in them. “Good to see you both again,” I said to the women.

  “Same here,” Gina said. “And congratulations.”

  “Yeah,” Leah added, her green eyes staring sightlessly past me. “I’m happy for you both. Rianna and I are Facebook friends, so I already feel like I know her.”

  “Mm-hm.” I couldn’t make small talk. I was too desperate to find out what was going on with Rianna.

  My gaze met J.D.’s where he stood just behind Leah. His eyes read mine, and he gave a little nod. “Hey, why don’t we all take a look at the yard? Travis, you want to show us around?”

  Gina shot a what’s going on here? look back and forth between me and Rianna and quickly supported J.D.’s idea. “I want to see all those beautiful flower beds.” She offered a hand to Micah to help him to his feet. “Come on, Dr. Horndog.”

  He scrambled up, then leaned in to give me a quick one-armed hug and pat on the back. “Hey, man. Congrats. You landed a winner.”

  “I did. Thanks for coming down,” I muttered distractedly.

  “You getting married? I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Micah chuckled as Travis took hold of his hand and dragged him off. My little buddy would normally be all over me the moment I stepped in the door, but the bright shiny penny of Micah had stolen him away.

  I waited until the door shut behind them before going over to Rianna. “What is it?”

  She opened her mouth, closed it, and shook her head as if words were beyond her. Then she called up a message and handed me her phone so I could read it.

  Sorry I ben out of touch. Gran said your living in Lexington now. I want to meet and see my boy. I’m his dad. I have rights. Im not how I used to be I swear. Call me ASAP.

  I read it once, twice, three times, growing angrier every time. I’d had enough of abandoning fathers showing up out of the blue. The annoyance I felt about my own dad transferred and intensified at the thought of Travis’s birth father charging into our lives and making demands. I was Travis’s father. Nobody else. This goddamn loser deserved no rights at all.

  I handed back the phone. “What are you gonna do?”

  Rianna shrugged. “I don’t know. Mostly I want to delete it and pretend I never got the message. I don’t know if Clay would follow through and track us down. But on the other hand, I’d hate for him to pop up later and cause trouble. Besides…” Her smooth forehead furrowed, and her light eyes darkened to storm gray. “Maybe Clay’s right. He is Travis’s bio-dad. Maybe he has the right to at least see him.”

  I swallowed down a hot lump of fury. “What if he’s not content to check in? He might demand visitation or custody rights. Opening the door to this guy might be like inviting a robber into the house.”

  I could foresee an entire legion of problems Rianna’s ex-boyfriend might cause us. He might want some sort of payoff now that Rianna was financially secure. He’d suck us like a leech. Or else he’d truly had some sort of AA epiphany and would try to reinsert himself into his son’s life. Either way, I didn’t want him there. I wanted him to fall off the face of the planet.

  Rianna groaned. “Am I being selfish? What about Travis’s right to know? It might not matter to him now, but someday… I know I’d like to have any scrap of information about who my bio-dad was.”

  Though I hadn’t adopted him yet, in my heart, Travis was already my son. Rianna didn’t realize how her words stung. Two days before our wedding and she was thinking of meeting her ex and letting him take fatherhood from me. I felt like I was holding on to the edge of a cliff and the earth was slipping from beneath my clutching fingers.

  “Whatever’s best for Travis,” I managed to say. “But we should probably contact a lawyer to make sure we handle it right.”

  Rianna moved close to me and snaked her arms around my neck, looking up into my face with those eyes which had been the hook that caught me the moment I saw her.

  “I’m so sorry about this and how it must make you feel. I’m furious it happened practically on the eve of our wedding. But it doesn’t change anything. Let’s try not to dwell on it or let it ruin our big day.”

  I smiled, nodded, kissed her, and thought it was practically impossible that this unexpected shadow couldn’t darken the rose-colored glasses I’d been wearing.

  Chapter Three

  Leah

  Walking into a new place or situation is a lot harder without sight to help me adjust to the environment. Arriving at Jonah’s house in Lexington felt like being dropped on a strange planet. I had to listen carefully and respond to nonvisual cues to get my bearings. Thank God for J.D.’s hand holding mine and his quiet voice describing everything for me.

  I shook off my nerves and offered a friendly smile when I greeted Rianna. She must be nervous too, meeting all of us at once and without Jonah beside her. Although she was polite and welcoming, I heard tension in the bride-to-be’s voice. Intuition told me it might be about something other than meeting new people.

  After Jonah arrived and we’d all said hello, J.D. suggested Travis show us the yard, which Jonah quickly agreed to. Once outdoors, I said to J.D., “Maybe we should go over and see your dad right now. Rianna seems a little on edge. We should give them some time alone to talk.”

  “Yeah. Something’s going on,” he agreed. “And I’d just as soon get this visit over with.”

  “Like eating cabbage,” Micah joked. “It tastes like shit and you know it’s going to stink later, but supposedly it’s good for you.”

  “Language,” Gina reminded him. “There’s a kid here.”

  “Right. I meant tastes like crap.”

  Micah always made me smile, and I’d never forgotten that if it weren’t for him coming to me to talk about J.D., I might have let the man I love slip away. I was eternally grateful for that little speech. I believed Micah was a good match for Gina. When they weren’t pecking at each other, they seemed to be in perfect sync.

  Travis led us around the yard, pointing out the most important features: his swing and sandbox. I knelt beside the box and let smooth, cool sand sift between my fingers.

  “Wanna dig?” Travis asked.

  “He’s offering you a shovel,” J.D. said, so I held out my hand and felt the plastic handle and the little boy’s warm fingers. I dug while Travis invented a story about his dump truck and Gina described the flower beds for me.

  “Gorgeous spring flowers. The daffodils are fading, but there are tulips and hyacinths blooming. Smell them?”

  I did, sweet and strong like lilies or an old lady wearing too much perfume.

  I listened to Travis’s high-pitched voice babbling and thought about how little experience I’d had with children. No siblings or younger cousins, and I’d never babysat. How would I raise a child of my own when I couldn’t even see to discipline the kid? How could I care for an infant or know if it was crawling toward danger? A moment of complete panic seized me, the beginning of an anxiety attack such as I hadn’t experienced since I’d first gone blind.

  I gripped the little shovel so hard my knuckles must have gone white while I struggled to keep my breathing slow and even. I refused to lose control. Everyone would want to know what was the matter, and I’d blurt the truth. This simply wasn’t th
e right time to tell my news, especially when I didn’t know how J.D. was going to react.

  By the time Micah coaxed a reluctant Travis to return to the house, I’d gotten my heart rate under control and the other symptoms had faded.

  We entered the apple-pie-scented house to a murmur of voices that abruptly fell silent.

  “Hey,” J.D. said. “We thought we’d give you guys some time together while we go over to see Dad.”

  “That’d be good.” I recognized Jonah’s voice, similar to J.D.’s but abrupt and authoritative. I had yet to talk with the man and had only heard stories about his bossy ways from J.D. and Micah. Jonah had been forced to take care of the family from a young age, and I understood how he might not know how to interact with his brothers as adults. I could cut him a lot of slack for that.

  “He’s deteriorated from last time you saw him,” Rianna warned. “It might be a bit of a shock.”

  After the long drive from Illinois, I would rather have taken a nap than meet Mr. Wyatt, the man who’d abandoned his sons. But I wanted to support J.D. during this visit, so I took one of the energy drinks from our travel cooler and sipped that.

  During the drive to the nursing home, I sat quietly, holding J.D.’s hand, while the others talked about Jesse Wyatt’s health.

  “He’s sure held on for a guy who only had a few weeks to live when he showed up,” Micah scoffed.

  “I doubt he exaggerated. Sometimes the dying process takes longer than you expect. I’ve been through it with a few clients.” Gina’s soothing voice floated from the front seat. “It can be a hard, slow disconnect.”

  “I wish I could say I’m glad to have a chance to see him one last time,” J.D. said. “But honestly, I don’t feel anything. I just want this over with.”

  I didn’t add anything. We’d had this discussion before, and there was nothing new to say. But I gave J.D.’s hand a squeeze to let him know I was with him. It was an awful, distressing situation for the Wyatt boys and also for us women who dated them. All Gina and I could offer was encouragement.